Wednesday, 7 November 2012

The Tirade of a Bitchy Waitress


Waitressing is an unfortunate but necessary experience that a large majority of the world must endure at some time in their lives. It isn't glamorous, enjoyable or particularly lucrative but it is a job that will always be found somewhere, and so we find ourselves filling this unhappy role in the hospitality industry as a "step" in our life plans.

A place holder in our lives, often explained as " just until I get,- my big break, -on my feet, - something better" type position.
It is a very educational job in many ways but that is a small comfort when you are actually toiling away as a modern day servant. 

You learn how to prioritise, multitask and develop your "work smile" which you will most likely need to don every single work day for the rest of your life. You will improve your people skills and learn to read a person as well as understand how best to approach them. 
You learn to deal with arseholes, basically.
How best to placate that one miserable human being who is simply determined to be a total prat and ruin you day. A warning to you - I normally get more than one!!! 

It is a job that I have a great deal of difficulty with. 
I'm not very keen on human beings as is, being a waitress has only served as a catalyst for my increased dislike. My ideal job is one where I need to interact with other homosapiens as little as is possible, so you can understand how working is a fast paced coffee whop constantly occupied with idiots from whom I must take orders is a trial!

I flatter myself in saying I am rather good at acting so no one is wise to my hatred for humanity. I smile and greet everyone, I laugh, I crack jokes. I know all our regulars by name and enquire in a caring and friendly manner as to how their poorly dog is, or "how was your grandson's birthday". Holidays, homes, pets, family and town scandals. I know them all! 

What drives me crazy is how tremendously rude people can be. Forget common courtesy! It's a thing of the past, my friend!
I have folk snapping their fingers at me and calling, "Waitress, waitress!" to me daily. THEY KNOW ME BY NAME! Yet still, they seek to make my position in life so crystal clear that they can beckon to me with a snap of their fingers and have me tripping over myself to serve them. Really? Where  is the need? In the words of my lovely eccentric dope-smoking granny, "manners don't cost you anything,". This is something I think everyone should be taught!

Yes, I'm a waitress. It's my job to serve you but that is no excuse to treat me horribly! People of the world I implore you!! Be kind to the young person who is serving you! If they can go a full day of dealing with the mean people of the world and still smile genuinely at you when you come in then they are deserving of a break - AND A TIP!

If any of my readers are the finger snapping kind, please stop. 
You're an overwhelming prat.

Tuesday, 6 November 2012

Oh, Vicious Cycle

As a young job hunter living in the UK I would like to let everyone know that recruitment agencies and potential employers suck.
Let me give you a little background information.

I haven't received any qualifications other than my highers and if I heed the warnings that are being published in newspapers daily, it's possible that I might not bother getting any. Unfortunately, without getting a degree of some sort I am doomed to packing shelves in Tesco or answering a telephone in a contact centre, in which cases, I'll not be earning more than, say between £13000-£15500. Now, a job is a job is a job. I know. I appreciate being employed and getting a stable wage on which to rely. It's fabulous. However, earning what I'm earning, makes it pretty hard to live.

Thing is, as a young adult you are urged from every angle not to study tertiary education because there simply aren't enough employment opportunities to handle the enourmous influx of newly-graduated young adults, BUT you can't possibly get a good job and earn a decent wage unless you have qualifications.

Oh, oh!! And another eternally annoying sentence to be read on job advertisements is " relevant experience for this role is a requirement". Well, isn't that just bl**dy fantastic? How on earth am I to gain any experience if NO ONE will hire me without my having any experience??

Do you have any idea how tremendously frustrating it is to be rejected for so many jobs because you don't have the relevant experience required and then not being able to get the blinking experience they keep asking of you because you are unhirable because of having no experience?

I ask you! How on earth can you be expected to work!? Left right and centre I have folk whinging in my ear about everyone being on benefits but really, it's not an easy task to undertake.

I am 20 years old, I am over 6000 miles from my family and I need to survive by myself in this big scary world. I moved back to Scotland in September, 2011. I managed this giantly courageous trek across  the world all by my lonesome when I was 19 years old. I'm a proud, confident and forward young woman. I'm capable and smart and I don't scare easily. Despite all this, the only work I can get is as a waitress in a miniscule little coffee shop.

I've been here over a year and it has been nothing more than a struggle. I can't even better myself through some sort of education as I lived abroad all my life and (despite being a Bitish national) cannot study in Scotland until I have been in residence for 3 years. On the wage that I am currently earning, I can't buy groceries or make any new additions to my wardrobe in the same month. I simply couldn't afford the costs of any education or the travel and stationery costs it might incur.

I would like to appeal to any readers I might have. If you are an employer, recruiter or are looking to hire any new staff. If someone applies for the position and they don't have the experience you are asking of your applicants, if they look responsible and capapble and like they truly want and need the job. GIve it to them. Every action you make in life has a consequence. It might be unnoticable or hugely obvious, either way it's a consequence. Giving someone a chance could be the big break they need.

Have a heart, man.